It came out of no where!

Another Friday night blog.
When I read back on some of my past blogs, I know yall must think I’m fibbing. Because if I didn’t see it with my own two eyes I wouldn’t believe some of the crazy crap that happens to me. My only reasoning behind it is that I possible could be the most unlucky person in Kentucky (at least the south end of it). Well that is not completely true I might be rounded 2nd compared to my husband. So you would think we would even one another out with our doom to life circumstances but that is a big NEGo. So why I must mention how random and weird my life is I have two instances that happen to me tonight.

So I changed Kahne my horse/dog/donkey’s food yet again. This time we have chosen iams, last and final decision!!! I will not put myself, nor Clay thru this again. Reasoning: his farts are deadly to anyone with skin. It literally burns my nose. Gross I know but I had to give you a visual to get the full concept of my story. Sooo the story begins. I hear Kahne eating, knowing what the food leads too I tippy toed my giant too fat to be tippy toeing ass in the bedroom. I’m hiding in the bed so he wouldn’t find me when I started to nod off. I get a text from Courtney and realize it is only 8:30. I might be a “Friday night blogger” but I will not turn into a “call it a night at 8:30 on a Freggin Friday night.” So I decide to put Kahne in his cage and take a drive. Sunset tan is where I ended up. After all we do have Vegas in 6 days I mize well tan so I won’t look albino compared to the girls over there. Well I get in the bed and turn on my iPod. Here I am trying not to belt out the words the Zac Brown Band in fear they won’t let me come back because my singing is so horrid. So I twittle my feet to the rhythm. I was doing good, real good.
Did you hear that? It was my luck sipping further and further away from me. I get attacked my flies. I counted 3 but I know there was more. Here I am lying naked in a bed, which I already feel uncomfortable because a fan is going ninety to nothing and if it comes loose there goes my pride and joy and womanhood. I always feel like there is something crawling on me while I’m in there anyways, I always freak out and ends up being nothing. So when I opened my eyes and saw a black thing on my stomach, I flipped my top. Which was not smart? Flipping my top resorted in a bloody nose and lip. I rose up so fast forgetting there was a 50 pound lid of a TANNING bed over top of me. Needless to say I’m okay. A busted lip and 6 mins of my nose projectiling blood everywhere, I’m good.
So after that I couldn’t have just gone home I thought I would test my luck at Wal-Mart. It turned out okay so I went home. When I got almost home I decided I would stop and see Kaidyn (my son). So I pull in and go sit down beside him and was just telling him what his crazy momma just did. And then it happened, I heard something. Mind you it’s about 9:45 at this point and I’m sitting alone in a cemetery. I freaked. So I start running back to my car. Bad idea. Evidentently that startled the flipping possum that was right next to me. I swear to you, it chased me to my car. It was pissed! I tripped over the ditch, I thought I was doomed. It still was after me, I jumped on top of my car. I drive a 08 Malibu, I’m sure the whole car is made of plastic. I don’t even want to know the damage I did to it. Anyways back to the pe-od possum, it stood there and hissed at me. I felt like I was on top of my car for 3 days. So if you please, picture this in your mind. A hissing possum and me on top of my car….crying. I bawled like a baby. If anyone could have seen that, your year would have been made.

So there is my luck sum up in a nut shell. Every day is something new in the Johnson family!!!

Until next time Peace love n a little Beyonce to lift your spirits.