It came out of no where!

Another Friday night blog.
When I read back on some of my past blogs, I know yall must think I’m fibbing. Because if I didn’t see it with my own two eyes I wouldn’t believe some of the crazy crap that happens to me. My only reasoning behind it is that I possible could be the most unlucky person in Kentucky (at least the south end of it). Well that is not completely true I might be rounded 2nd compared to my husband. So you would think we would even one another out with our doom to life circumstances but that is a big NEGo. So why I must mention how random and weird my life is I have two instances that happen to me tonight.

So I changed Kahne my horse/dog/donkey’s food yet again. This time we have chosen iams, last and final decision!!! I will not put myself, nor Clay thru this again. Reasoning: his farts are deadly to anyone with skin. It literally burns my nose. Gross I know but I had to give you a visual to get the full concept of my story. Sooo the story begins. I hear Kahne eating, knowing what the food leads too I tippy toed my giant too fat to be tippy toeing ass in the bedroom. I’m hiding in the bed so he wouldn’t find me when I started to nod off. I get a text from Courtney and realize it is only 8:30. I might be a “Friday night blogger” but I will not turn into a “call it a night at 8:30 on a Freggin Friday night.” So I decide to put Kahne in his cage and take a drive. Sunset tan is where I ended up. After all we do have Vegas in 6 days I mize well tan so I won’t look albino compared to the girls over there. Well I get in the bed and turn on my iPod. Here I am trying not to belt out the words the Zac Brown Band in fear they won’t let me come back because my singing is so horrid. So I twittle my feet to the rhythm. I was doing good, real good.
Did you hear that? It was my luck sipping further and further away from me. I get attacked my flies. I counted 3 but I know there was more. Here I am lying naked in a bed, which I already feel uncomfortable because a fan is going ninety to nothing and if it comes loose there goes my pride and joy and womanhood. I always feel like there is something crawling on me while I’m in there anyways, I always freak out and ends up being nothing. So when I opened my eyes and saw a black thing on my stomach, I flipped my top. Which was not smart? Flipping my top resorted in a bloody nose and lip. I rose up so fast forgetting there was a 50 pound lid of a TANNING bed over top of me. Needless to say I’m okay. A busted lip and 6 mins of my nose projectiling blood everywhere, I’m good.
So after that I couldn’t have just gone home I thought I would test my luck at Wal-Mart. It turned out okay so I went home. When I got almost home I decided I would stop and see Kaidyn (my son). So I pull in and go sit down beside him and was just telling him what his crazy momma just did. And then it happened, I heard something. Mind you it’s about 9:45 at this point and I’m sitting alone in a cemetery. I freaked. So I start running back to my car. Bad idea. Evidentently that startled the flipping possum that was right next to me. I swear to you, it chased me to my car. It was pissed! I tripped over the ditch, I thought I was doomed. It still was after me, I jumped on top of my car. I drive a 08 Malibu, I’m sure the whole car is made of plastic. I don’t even want to know the damage I did to it. Anyways back to the pe-od possum, it stood there and hissed at me. I felt like I was on top of my car for 3 days. So if you please, picture this in your mind. A hissing possum and me on top of my car….crying. I bawled like a baby. If anyone could have seen that, your year would have been made.

So there is my luck sum up in a nut shell. Every day is something new in the Johnson family!!!

Until next time Peace love n a little Beyonce to lift your spirits.

WANTED: Ball Replacement

BLOG time…

It’s been 67894 days since I last took to my blog. How dare I not take the time to do what I love!!! But I’m back have no fear.

We bought a camper at the lake. I pretty much am in love with it. We stayed there last weekend with Heather and Lachey. It was the first weekend we stayed the night because I am scared of mice and……we had turds. But we took care of that little problem. If it doesn’t rain this weekend we are having a surprise party for one of my friends. I had a practice session for beer pong last weekend. I suck. Which I’m really upset about because I use to rock. But I the champ will return. Our only problem is Kahne is all over our ball situation. He is sitting there waiting for the ball to drop. We are working as teams to kept the horse from getting to the ball first. We got him fixed a few weeks ago, I think he is trying to replace the balls the vet took out. I hate to break it to him-ping pong balls will not bring him booty. Any who, if you’re coming to the party, bring your game face!

Bethany had her baby. She named her Bryleigh Paige. I pretty much am absence with this child. I want her, I offered money (cash, checks I even offered money orders) but they are not giving her up easily. I will have to try something else, any ideas? I would show you how pretty she is but Stuart is hating on some MySpace. So no pictures at this time. (I will sneak a picture for yall to see my niece).

Two weeks from tomorrow I will be flying to LAS VEGAS! Yes indeed, me and boo in sin city. Go ahead and save your money, apply for a loan, there is a good chance we will need you to bail us out. We were talking about the trip yesterday and we were naming all the stuff that we MUST do while in Vegas. Clay: Watching the Volcano at 6. Britt: Go on a gondola ride at the Venetian. Clay: Watch Reed win the championship. Britt: Watch Cirque du Soleil. Clay: Become of member of the mile high club. Britt: Get married on a whim. Clay: no no no I would never make that mistake again. Britt: sad day. He is a fool, he loves me. I am convinced! :) I will take a lot of pictures and make a photo blog when we return!!!!

Until next time, peace, love an a little Beyonce to lift your spirits.