Second guessing the view from a Mother's eyes!

So I don't normally just sit there and think about how ugly a person is, yes maybe I think about how ugly someones personality is but for their actual looks its not something that ever seems to bother me!
I was looking rough from my day at venture, so I have no room to talk about ugly people. I'm not that pretty girl that fixes her hair to go sit by the pool, I'm the fat one doing cannon balls off the side! So needless to say I should have went straight home due to the no make up, ratty hair and water logged baby, but instead I go to Pagliai's and then to Kroger to get stuff to make a recipe my aunt gave me.
I'm walking around Kroger trying to grab a few things as fast as I could, when I kept running into the same person. I find it completely awkward when you keep meeting the same person. its really weird when you run into someone you actually know, have a conversation then proceed to shop but keep running into them. I always feel like I have to say something even if it doesn't make any sense, "I love yellow bananas." After the 3rd role, I pick up my phone and fake call my husband. There is no telling how many voicemails he has gotten of me going "Have you ever tried pickled eggs, bahahahaha you have! That's gross Clay!!" I'm telling you, I'm a strange cat.
Anyways, the guy that I kept running into was ugly. I even feel bad typing it. But he was. He had really big ears, buzzed his hair, a nose bigger than my papaws and was wearing a cheesy graphic tee with camo pants and the ugly camo, the black and grey kind! At this point I was just looking for him now so I could go the other direction. I finally get all my items and head to checkout, and there he was loading his stuff on the counter. blah
I'm watching as he kept loading stuff, looking him up and down thinking bless his heart he is really ugly. Then comes this woman squeezing beside me to get to him, its his mom. I think to myself, well I'm sure she thinks he is just the cutest thing. This made me feel little bit better about how rude I was being. Then...
Cash starts chirping so it gets the moms attention. "OMG...look at his hair!!! Oh.MY.GOODNESS!" I'm just nodding along like, yes he is sooo cute! "He looks JUST like my son when he was his age!!! Nod, nod...wait WHAT! "YES, look son, don't that look just like your baby pictures!" Cash was even shocked and started crying. I know my jaw dropped, I thought oh Lord I'm sorry, I should have never thought that about that boy! My eyes are whelping up with tears, because I was holding my laughter back so hard, Cash crying was making it worse! We got out in the parking lot and I told Cash we would dye his hair tomorrow if he wanted too!

learned my lesson.

until next time peace, love n little Beyonce to lift your spirits!

Mass Murderer used a plush toy.

Summer is here, I think. Tomorrow it might be 50 degrees, weather here lately has been kinda crazy. But as of today May 12th, 2011 it sure feels like a summer day! So since its been pretty my back yard is drying up, I got stares yesterday from the new wave guy when I was in my bikini doing the backstroke from tree to tree. So I thought its about time to get a pool, or maybe it was that I needed a one piece on...to be safe I will purchase both. Well since we live in Ridgewood Subdivision we have a book of rules that we have to abide by, you have to ask permission about anything you want to do. If we put up a fence it cant be chain link and after its up they have to come measure it and make sure its straight or we have to fix it, if a limb falls in your yard you have so many days for it to be removed. Rules about Pools pg. 395 (rough estimate on page number) NO above ground pools. But we aren't quite financially ready to purchase a $30,000 pool and then as states on page 192 in the "Fencing" Chapter, you must put a fence around your pool, so add another 5 to 10 grand on privacy fence. So for this summer I decided we are going to HAVE to have a pool, just a cheap one from Walmart. I'm a rebel, breaking the rules! But to be on the safe side I bought one small enough that I could argue in court it was meant for a birdbath not a pool. Visual- if Cash farts walls will explode out due to water pressure and Cash will be white water rafting all about 54 inches (because thats all the water that fits in there). I stood in it yesterday with Cash and he was ecstatic so really thats all that matters!

I am getting a Venture River pass this year just in case the walled puddle doesn't excite us very long! Not sure we will ever afford the gas to get up there, but we will try! I'm alittle worried about taking Cash there because 'other' kids go there. I'm still not sure how I feel about 'other' kids. I instantly think, they will kill him. Yes you all gave birth to mass murderers, why did y'all do that. I really want my baby to play with them but I don't want them to touch him, roll anything past him, feed him, hold him, put his paci in his mouth (along with any other object), push his stroller, kiss him well to shorten the list, they could look at him. I do all day long and its really fun! Yes, look just not touch! OMG my child is going to end up a sissy!!! Put him in the show choir, but front role please dont want to risk falling from riser. okay okay you can brush him lightly...only once though.

I say this all while a PW50 is sitting in my garage. 10 months old and already has a motorcycle. I'm scared of your 3 year old but I allow this dangerous 2 wheeled object that I have personally seen severely injure people and we bought one EXTRA early. great. To my defense, I know Clay is going to have him on a bike so my theory is to teach him early so he knows what he is doing and becomes good or even great at it. Then he is less likely to go out there ride really fast and wreak over something stupid. This thought makes me not throw up every time I open our garage. If for no other reason, Clay LOVES it! He literally lights up when he sees this motorcycle. I watch him every night walk out of the house go in the garage, to make sure no one steals it. He says(in sad voice), man someone is going to steal MY fifty. Not sure where his negativity comes from but he just seems so positive this will happen in the near future. But if you see Shrek riding a bike that comes to my knees thru Ridgewood, drop a twenty in my mailbox. This circus show isn't for free.

Well I'm going to get off here. I have extreme couponing to do. bahahahaha no really I have a coupon for a free denture creme. Not that I need it today, but in 50 years I am going to be one happy woman that I have a stash of fixadent in my guest bedroom! Have a wonderful, blessed day! :)

Until next time peace, love n alittle Beyonce to lift your spirits!

In God's Time

I'm 25 years old, to most that isn't too old. But I think I have done so much in my 25 years. I'm so happy in where I am in my life right now. I have husband that respects me, laughs with me & treats me better then I even knew someone could be treated. We don't fight, maybe only 5 in our whole relationship. I know some say fighting is healthy but we don't. We both have been through so many hard times some before our relationship, some during them and I know some will come in our future. These hard times has taught us that fighting isn't worth it, this life is so short. My mom always taught me don't get mad at silly stuff, because in the end it doesn't matter. You might like to fight but we like to laugh and love. Cheesy, I know. But I take pride in what we have...I know I'm lucky. I thank God and Clay all the time for all the wonderful things they have brought to me. Clay never leaves this house without knowing how much he means to me, and that is the honest truth. I still get super sad around 1:30 and I start getting clingy and begging him not to go that day! And when I hear that clunky truck coming up the drive I still get happy feet and greet him at the door! And no time or years will make this change because I was raised to not take things for granted and he is one of my most important things!

This month always gets me super emotional. I spend alot of time hiding in my bathtub wiping away tears and thinking of the way my life might have been. On march 7th my oldest son Kaidyn Cash Johnson would have been 3 years old. Gosh, a 3 year old running around here just blows my mind to think about! Alot of laughter and joy is missing because that boy is not in this house. I have a few friends on facebook that have lil boys that is the same age and if they only knew how many times I look at their pictures to just get a view of how tall he might be right now or what new things he might be doing. It is a comfort thing for me, its me seeing him grow up. I look at his brother and try to think how much they are probably alike. I'm so thankful for this little boy and everything that he has taught me. I am who I am today because of losing him. I still think of him EVERYDAY. He has taught me patience, to love & care with my whole heart. He has taught me how it is to hurt, which has taught me how to pray. I only got to hold him for a few short hours but in those hours he taught me about life!!! The real life. Not how many hours your husband works, not whats in my driveway or my closet, not who thinks this or where we are, not what needs to be done but just being happy in the moment.

I have many happy moments. I know next year and the next will come around with the same feelings and emotions. But if I'm not where I need to be this time always bring me back to the importance in life. I hope everyone takes the time to tell the people that matter most how much they mean to them. I wish everyone happiness and most importantly gratefulness.

Happy Birthday my son. You are loved.

Until Next time peace, love n alittle Beyonce to lift your spirits.

Polly want a cracker?

Cash is now 8 months old. So much changes with him everyday now. He learns something new all the time. Most of these are good changes but the one where if I get out of his sight he goes psycho is not one of my favorites! I feel like he is being rude, especially when I leave him with someone and they are so excited to see him and he acts like a brat! I mean its bitter sweet, Im honored that im the milk to his cereal but really wish he would be alittle less obvious.

So his addiction to me leads to this....

Doing ANYTHING anymore is a huge obstacle. You do not understand this unless you have a child yourself. You really do take little things for granted that is so much easier when its just you and your husband! Like right now for instance. Im sitting here trying to write a blog, where prior Cash I would be sitting here in silence writing a blog that would maybe take me 5 mins. Post Cash blogging...Veggie tales belting out a song about pirates that dont do anything (literally that is what they are called), my son sitting in his bouncer singing/screaming/laughing all while bouncing uncontrollably which makes it sound like the bouncer is going to bust into 300 pieces. When his lil mind gets distracted he turns to me and opens his mouth while i cracker my polly with yogurt melts.

on to blogging.

So it is 1:00 and we are still in our pajamas. So I decide to get myself and Cash a bath and ready before Clay gets home and it look like we havent done anything today. After bath time I lay Cash in our bed and i let him take a nap while I bring all of my "getting ready stuff" in the living room so I dont wake him. I blow dry my hair and I get it almost straighten before I hear cries coming from the back of the house! He normally takes a 3 hour nap but that is only when im laying there with him! If im up actually getting things accomplished it only last as long as it take me to get right in the middle of the job! Not complaining, I love naps! So I bring him in here and place him in th floor. I finish getting ready and put on my new sweatpants; they are still the actual length they were intended to be because I havent had the chance to accidentally dry them yet, so they are love!

Im done getting ready it is 2:30 now. I let Kahne out on his leash and decide to take Cash down to check the mail! We love checking the mail, and now that its warmer Cash gets to go with me! Its on our schedule, Im obsessed with our schedule and this is an everyday thing! Today is Monday so being the awesome wife I am I decide to wheel the trash can down as we go. This is normally a hard task anyways because my drive way is made of some kind of rock which is slippery on a regular basis and the trash can being on wheels-you see my point. So half way down the drive it comes a down pour! We were too far to turn back now. This is the first time Cash has been in rain so he doesnt know what to think! I am concentrating on not flipping the V8 trash can I am driving all while Cash is doing some kind of rain dance in my arms! Parked the can. POURING enough at this time that I have to stop and put my glasses on my head so I could see. Check the mailbox....nothing. Of course nothing its a holiday and this was the only reason for this stupid adventure! Take a moment-feel my anger!

So up we go. Cash has determined now that he isnt much of a rainman. Im trying to hold up my pants, cover my child, run up my slippery driveway with wet flip flops! I thought for a split second Leave the child, save your hair!! But the cars passing by has already made me look like a horrible mother, I can hear them now! "What a horrible mother, That baby needs to be inside during this mess. It needs to have a coat/hat/socks on, drinking a bottle and doing exactly what I did as a mother". So they runt was coming with me! I felt like I was on a treadmill, I was going no where! I screaming, Im so sorry Cash! Like he knew what i was saying or even cared! I know at that point he was wishing maybe I would have put the diaper on his head! We made it in the house. ran back outside and grabbed the dog! My hair looked like something out of a country music video. I passed out on the floor beside Cash and just started laughing, he laughs when I do so we sat in the floor like crazed loons laughing while Kahne was licking the rain off of me! So much for the pretty hair and my pants were too wet for me to continue wearing them without getting my socks wet! So in less then an hour im sitting here writing a blog, with too short jogging pants, my hair on the top of my head and Cash in his pajamas! So when Clay gets home, he is going to think we did nothing all day! boy if he only knew!

So to non mothers. When you are watching your tv shows, taking a bath, getting ready, checking facebook, running to pay bills, sitting in church, folding laundry, doing anything outdoors, going to the movies. Know that mothers like me are doing them but in a completely different way then you! :)
Until next time. Peace love n alittle Beyonce to lift your spirits!

thanks for traveling carnival cruise line...

so it happened today. of all the days in the last 6 months im not sure why cash thought today was the best day to do it but he did. i was taking a bath with him...he loves bath time. it might be me squirting him with his ducky, or me singing splish splash, or it might be the raspberries i blow on his wet tummy, maybe its when i go under the water and we play peek a boo, or the 10 mins of cash kicking, kicking, kicking down the river...whatever it is cash just loves bathtime! and i cant lie, i love all the smiles and laughs i get during bath time. but today was different. we just played one round of surfing turtle, we had moved on to splish splash, cash was taking a bath all about a saturday night, rub a dub just relaxing in the tub, thinking everything was alright (i really was, this is where i was SO wrong) entering my favorite verse...well, I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor, i wrapped the towel around meeeeeeeeeee! with me really getting down on the meeeeeeeeeee...i got shot! shot in my tonsils. HE RANG MY TONSIL BELLS!! yes the rat peed on meeeeeeeeee, in me whatever but he did i gargled his pee. now i love my son, i can do things with/for him that i could never even think about doing to someone else...but the line was drawn and cash just passed it. like if the line was a hurdle...cash just broke a record for the cross country team! I started screaming and spitting all while trying to hold on to cash, me being in a bathroom makes everything louder...pause i have a quick funny story i fart, not in front of people other than my brother, mom & dad (they are the chosen few). occasionally it has happened on accident, which i find extremely funny and embarrassing! anyways clay has only heard me fart no more the 5 times in the 5 years we have been together. I get one yearly fart with him, my farting is like christmas. anyways here is where my story is going, we had been married prolly a month...we were taking a shower together (only to save water). fighting for the warm water it was clays turn, so i quietly move to the corner of the shower to wash my hair. i bent down to get the shampoo and i farted my very first fart clay had ever heard me do. let me draw this out for you. we are in a ceramic tiled shower, can you even imagine how loud this made my little innocent fart? No you cant because, at first i didnt even believe it was me, i could have sworn a 300 pound man leaving a mexican buffet hopped in the shower with us! this is not what i envisioned my first fart to be like, i was thinking more like a peep alittle mouse might make not a cruise ship debarking from its port! just imagine how clay must have felt, here his little perfect wife might be a man. we laughed and laughed which made me very alarmed i was going to let another one out because that is normally when they release from the chamber. Clay farted to make me feel better, in a strange way it did...and we never talked about it again. sooo back to my story. with my high pitched scream, due to us being in the bathroom. i scared cash. he screamed the most horrifying scream i have ever heard him do. he didnt want me holding him because i was the scary one and quiet frankly i was kinda pissed at him too, no pun intended! we quickly get out of the bathtub shampoo mohawks still in place on the both of us i sit him on his towel in the floor while i dripped all the way to mine and clays bathroom to brush my teeth. it took about 10 mins of me rocking cash to get him to calm down before we could get back in the tub to remove shampoo. i had been warned that they pee, which cash has done numerous of times but never did he brett farve one in my mouth. if he ever wants me to even consider being nice to future girlfriends i suggest he never do that again!
until next time, peace love n alittle beyonce